Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
