we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I want to fling myself into the sun
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
