my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize