then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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