some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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