I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my being single is dangerous.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
