And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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