you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
