Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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