You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
