There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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