turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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