Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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