I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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