Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
