you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
