wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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