Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
