nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
