spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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