Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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