We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
