Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
