I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.