Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices