Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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