I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?