I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.