so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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