Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
