he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
