Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
