Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
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i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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