I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Four minutes until I can fart!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
