Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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