I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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