kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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