He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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