so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize