You made me cry and you don't even care
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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