That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Umm I'm too high to move.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
