U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
