Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize