This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
