So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
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I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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