Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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