Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
