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I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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