i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
