if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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