Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
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Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize