I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
