do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
