They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
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my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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