KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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