see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have post one night stand depression
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
