you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
