Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My balls are so social today.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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