Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
