WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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