You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
a search helicopter?!
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize