i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
