Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
