So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
