census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
