there was a trapeze. enough said
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
