i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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