so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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