Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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