Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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