haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
