i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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